LIVING THE AUNT & UNCLE LIFE
We have a fun episode for you today, and married or single this one is for you! We are right in the middle of our Relationship Series, and this relationship is one that not many people talk about. I don’t know of any podcast episodes out there about this subject, so we will happily blaze the trail! This is also one of my absolute favorite topics: Aunt’ing and Uncle’ing. Are those real words? Probably not, but we’re sticking with ‘em! “Aunt” is one of the greatest roles I have ever taken on; it’s one that brings me more joy than I could ever express in words. I think only some mixture of flailing about, dancing/twirling, singing, and, of course, high kicking could really do it justice. 😁
In this episode devoted uncle, and podcast regular, Matt Slavik, joins Brooke and I to chat about living this wonderful aunt and uncle life. I realize that Matt and I may have a different type of uncle and aunt experience than others out there; being twins I’m sure changes things a bit. Also the relationship between siblings can play a role in how close, or not-so-close, you are with those kiddos. So, I wanted to get some other people’s perspective, hear their stories, and add their experiences to this episode. I polled some people and asked these questions:
What is the best thing about being an aunt/uncle?
How is the role of Aunt/Uncle important?
How is aunt’ing/uncle’ing different than parenting? (q for the parents out there)
I got so many fantastic and diverse answers. But the major themes? Support, love, and, of course, FUN!
I hope you enjoy reading all the sweet answers below from other aunts and uncles.
“One of the coolest things has been seeing my sister be a mom. I’ve seen the kid side of her growing up, and seeing her grow into parenthood and responsibility has been really fun. This is the first kid in the family, and she has totally changed the dynamics, traditions, and structure, which I didn’t like at first. But now, as she’s turning three, it’s become really fun. Having a little kid looking up to you, thinking about you, asking about you…there’s something super innocent about it and that selfless love.
For me being an uncle is important, or will be when she gets older, because aunts and uncles are mother and father figures without being mother and father. The relationship I want to have with her is one where she can have fun, explore her personality, and test boundaries in a healthy way. It’s a unique way of shaping character that’s outside of super strict rules. I want her to think time with me is really fun and adventurous, and hopefully she’ll learn something along the way.” - Logan, “Uncle Bukie”
“My nephews made me realize what unconditional love really looks like. I love seeing them succeed and treat others with love and compassion. I love spoiling them. When the want to spend time with me, it’s a great feeling because I was afraid at the ages of 17 & 15 they would rather be with friends. They still think I am pretty cool contrary to the evidence stacked against me on that.
I feel like I am someone they will take advice from when they don’t see eye to eye with their parents, or if they aren’t certain how their parents will react to their situation. As much as I would love to be a parent, I feel like I have been involved in shaping who they are becoming through prayer, setting and example, and showing unconditional love.” - Melinda, “Aunt Mel”
“I LOVE getting to be a positive role model in my niece’s life that is NOT parent. I love getting to have fun with her NOT as the parent.
Aunts and Uncles are SO important - to have another person (especially of the same gender) that is not the parent pouring into and loving on a child is huge. It gives her a safe place, another listening ear, and can give advice when maybe she doesn’t want to reach out to mom and dad.
As a parent, in my aunt role, I have less responsibility with her, but yet I feel the same ‘obligation’ to care for her like my own. It’s crazy that I can love another little person (almost) as much as my own. Obviously not quite the same, but a whole whole lot. Especially being a twin, she feels partly like my own!” - Anna, “Nanny”
“The best thing about being an uncle is that you get to love on and encourage the tiniest members of your family. I think it is a small perk to not be ultimately responsible for them, though it sounds bad saying that. It’s a relief that after spending time with them, I can still go home and sleep in (when work permits) and be selfish - focusing on myself during this season of my life - without it being a detriment to them.
I am not sure I have uncovered the full potential of the uncle role. I see myself as someone that can constantly be a source of edification and encouragement for my nephews. I am not the primary disciplinarian or someone they see on a day to day basis, so it’s important to me that I speak life into them as much as I can. I want to affirm their identity of being men of God that are smart, able to do ANYTHING, and blessed to bless other people.” - Zach, “Uncle Z”
“I always say my favorite part about being an aunt is getting to do all of the fun and cool things with my nieces and nephews, but getting to return them to mom and dad at the end of the day. It’s also taken the love that I have known to another level. Having these 5 nephews and 2 nieces that you would absolutely give anything and everything for because you love them so incredibly much. It’s also very cool to watch your siblings take on the role of parenting!
I think the role of an aunt is important because it’s so versatile. Bringing fun times and cool gifts and stories but also bringing a listening ear, good advice or support to them when needed!!” - Anna, “Nans”
“ I love that even though all four (1 nephew, 3 nieces) came from the same parents, they are all so unique and their own person. I’ve loved watching them grow through all the stages and getting to know their distinct personalities, interests, love languages, etc, and spending time with them in a way that hopefully speaks love and life into them.
I think the role of an aunt is extremely important. While not having the same responsibility of a parent, we do have a huge opportunity to influence and impact our nieces and nephews. My hope is that my people see me as another adult in their life that is a safe place and someone who loves them fiercely.” - Lizann, “Aunt Lizzie”
“The best thing: Uncle’ing can ‘place the solitary in families’ Ps 68:6
I liken one important role of Aunt/Uncle to teaching: sometimes we can say the same thing their parents have been saying but they’ll listen to us. I could (and have) lived away from them, but I prefer not to. I hold a pretty high view of family. The opportunity to be more part of their day-in & day-out life to me is invaluable. Aunting/Uncle’ing is different from parenting in that we don’t have them ‘all the time’; our role is definitely ‘easier,’ I would say. But also this allows us to perhaps more easily see their positives/potential because we’re not seeing their consistent depravity (sin) as much/as often.” - Clete, “My Uncle Clete” or “Unc” (which is sang instead of merely said, BTW)
“My favorite part of being an aunt is just being witness to them living life and growing up. I won’t ever be a mom, but those 4 kids are for sure mine. Investing in their lives gives me purpose, and it’s been such a joy to watch our relationships grow into friendships.
I think the role of aunt is so important! It often gives parents a break when I take the kids, but it’s just another layer of love and protection and wisdoms surrounding them as they grow up!” - Lindsey, “Aunt Z”
“I didn’t have any preconceived ideas about being an aunt. All I remember was thinking when you girls were born was that this was going to be fun, and it was! I was 18, so that was where I was mentally. Ha! I loved playing with you, having you spend the night, taking you to vacation bible school, buying you things. I wanted you to know how special you are, and that you are loved. That you could always come to me about anything. That I was a safe place.
How is this role important? Your voice and your actions. I believe it’s important to seed into the next generation, especially in your own family, by affirming them and encouraging them every chance you get. Helping them see their potential. Telling them how much God loves them, and He has a specific destiny for their lives. Love them so they know it. They are special, and He made them unique in every way. I also believe its important to have hard conversations when needed. As they get older things change, but the foundations of communication and trust hopefully always stays the same.” - Kim, “Kimmy”
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