HOW TO GALA
I know what you’re thinking. “Brittney, I’ve seen on the social media recently that you’ve been to a fancy, formal event and didn’t burn the place down. How did you do it?! How do you gala?!” Well friends, yes, I have recently gala’d (also I just made “gala” a verb) and rocked it. I will happily impart my wisdom and experience, so that you too can successfully maintain refinement and poise while also kicking up those color-coordinated heels.
Last week I went to my second gala. Yep, I’ve only technically been to two galas in my life, but I’ve also been to an Air Force Academy Ball, which is super fancy and for sure counts as like three galas, thus making me a fancy-pants event expert. So if you happen to find yourself invited to the XYZ “Event of the Year” Gala Extraordinaire, then I am here to help you out! Here are the steps to kick your next gala in the face!
Identify the theme - Pretty much every gala, ball, or illustrious event has a theme. Sometimes it’s a color, sometimes it pertains to the season, sometimes it involves a mask or Disney princess or something royal...you get the picture. You need to know the theme, as this will help you make every other decision from here on out: outfit, shoes, makeup, date, diet, accessories, attitude, etc.
The perfect outfit - We don’t all have a cache of formal gowns or tuxedos in our homes. I realize this, as I also do not have a collection of ball gowns...though, how much fun would that be, for all costume and dress-up events?! (cue my sister telling me that I’m an adult and do not need a costume/dress-up trunk in my life...whatever) I unfortunately don’t own a gold gown, raspberry cocktail dress, or modern pant suit, nor do I want to go buy more formal wear every time I go to a formal event. This is where the super cool site Rent the Runway comes in and saves the day. You get to play dress-up with designer clothes that, let’s be honest, you would never get to wear otherwise. You literally rent swanky dresses (or jewelry, other clothes and accessories, and even home decor) usually for a lower price than you’d have to pay if you bought one. Now I am not someone who cares about labels; I don’t care if the dress is Versace or Faded Glory, as long as it looks good and I feel pretty. BUT I will say it’s fun to wear a sassy, designer dress that’s worth more than what I make a month. Finally, I like to take this opportunity to pretend I am either a princess (minus the birds and other woodland creatures coming to help dress me) OR on Downtown Abbey. There’s nothing wrong with that. Play it up, express yourself (or your imaginary self who you wouldn’t normally express), and dress it up! Rock that sequin bowtie and maybe add in some suspenders...getting crazy now. Work those chartreuse heels you will likely never wear again because a) they are super uncomfortable and b) they’re chartreuse.
Hair and makeup - Two words: Youtube Tutorials. Think prom, meets wedding, meets bird’s nest. Just when you think you’ve gone a little too far, keep going. You may never get to wear this much makeup and this much hairspray ever again, so go for it! Basically make yourself a walking Instagram filter. Wear that bold red lipstick that you got for free from your co-worker who used to work for Loreal. Get a cramp in your arms trying that complicated updo...or treat yo’self to having it professionally done; because you’re worth it.
The main event - Usually these things are fairly elaborate. We’re talking a wall of gold hands, sticking out of some structure, holding the signature gala drink. Don’t be too overwhelmed because you’ve never seen so much crystal and glitz. Just take it all in one goblet, champagne glass, and elaborate centerpiece at a time. And, I know what you’re thinking, no, they will not let you take those centerpieces home. I’ve asked. Obviously take a ton of pictures (to selfie stick or not to selfie stick)...of everything...because odds are you may or may not make a fool out of yourself at some point resulting in you never getting invited to anything this nice again...so take full advantage
Eat, drink, and be merry - As Shakira says in Zootopia, “Try everything!” Eat all the food, drink all the drinks, receive all product, and take all the samples. Enjoy the four or five course meal including that nice steak AND chicken dinner! Most likely there will be a signature drink, open bar, and possibly customizable champagne wall...yes, that’s a thing. Put all the fruit, cotton candy, or gummie bears in that champagne glass and live it up! Take that swag bag home with the lovely candle, free pens, expensive face moisturizer sample, and gold golf ball home. You never know when you’ll need it. Also, for the entertainment portion of the evening, there should always be dancing. If not, it’s your responsibility to start the party off right, create a dance floor, and break it down somethin’ fierce like nobody’s watching...even though they are, starring actually at the girl who is dancing by herself. Finally the semi-famous band will come out, and it’s time to party. Finally, you’re not dancing by yourself any more! Cut a rug, shake your tail feather, do the Dougie, drop it like it’s hot...depending on your outfit, of course; I suggest breathable material because there will be sweating.
Auction do’s and don’ts - The organizers of the gala do not, I repeat DO NOT, like it when you raise your paddle bidding a ridiculous amount of money for that African safari, then you yell “PSYCH!” Do not do that. Otherwise you may find yourself putting $24K on that Mastercard you should not have let the lady at check-in have on retainer under your name. Get your picture taken with the paddle as a reminder that you actually were present during the auction, where people bid on items you haven’t even thought about putting on a bucket list. These galas are usually fundraisers, typically for great causes (i.e. Arkansas Children’s Hospital). So if you can buy that theme’d t-shirt or bid on the basket of Hershey goodness, then go get you the souvenir that, in the end, is actually helping others in the community.
There you have it folks! These are the key ingredients to crushing that next gala, ball, or fancy event you are attending. Now go forth, sparkle, and dance your rear off for the cause!