PHONE-A-FRIEND
It really is the simple things in life that can bring light and joy to a person’s day. A simple, “hey, I’m thinking about you” text can do wonders! To a missionary, these little things are huge.
I was feeling quite homesick by the time my first birthday in Ukraine came around. The fact that I would be spending it without my sister, family, and close friends started to wear on me. To express my feelings, I decided to write a blog post about my birthday on my blog that I had back in the day. It wrote a wish list of things I wanted for my birthday even though I knew most of them were fairly unattainable. I was mainly just processing, ya know, expressing my homesickness via a list of things that I thought would help make me feel a little less lonely and more like I was at home.
Here was the list (written Sept. 2008):
Watch a movie in English, in a movie theatre
The pistachio cake my mom makes for me every year
Sushi with Brooke & Garrett
A video of the Encompass Team (Arkansas guys) singing to me Mr. Big’s “To Be With You” (this already happened, but I wasn’t able to capture it during the fact. I’ll accept a reenactment.)
Okra
A care package from someone completely unexpected.
Pad Thai from Pei Wei
A cookie cake like the ones at Walmart with the icing..mmm…
My special pillow, which I left back in Arkansas (I looked for it the other day, completely forgetting where I was.)
My mom’s chicken & dumplings with Meme’s banana puddin’ for dessert
A girls’ day/night out
Maggie’s Cookies (great cookie shop in Conway, AR)
Church only lasting an hour and a half or less, one sermon instead of three, and a peppy choir singing something upbeat.
Stable internet in my apartment, so I can talk to my friends and family on a regular basis
Flowers
Y’all. Both Jesus and my people showed up big time! A friend from another town in Ukraine came to visit and promised a girls’ night; internet was installed in my apartment (it was slow, but still, it counted); my supporting church back in the States bought me some flowers from the market via a teammate; my mom sent me a massive care package filled with things I couldn’t even imagine asking for (she worked for Kraft Foods at the time and got tons of free swag); some dear friends, who were also serving in Lviv, invited me over for dinner and a movie that they set up through a projector just like we were in a theater; I received a care package from the doctors at an eye clinic I worked at right out of college (totally unexpected) which included the delicious Maggie’s cookies; and, lastly, I received an email with a video from the Arkansas Encompass guys--and their entire KLife guys’ group--singing a special version of “To Be With You” just for me (and you know I still have it!). It was perfect. Honestly, it was one of the best birthdays I had ever had. I never felt so loved and cared for as I did during that time.
Though my love language is not gifts (I’m a quality time and touch kind of gal), I was for sure feeling the love. It was the closest thing I could get to a huge hug from people who I loved and loved me right back. Not only were the surprises amazing, but the fact that people were actually reading my blog and taking action almost meant more to me than the physical gifts!
When you’ve moved away, whether it be to a different town, state, or country, you can feel so far removed from “normal” life, and it’s nice to have a reminder that you’re still connected in some way. Life keeps going, with or without you...for both parties...a fear of being forgotten is a real thing. Annual gatherings, holidays, traditions are not the same. Letting those who have moved away, those missionaries who are no longer in close proximity to you, know that they are thought of and missed is water to their parched souls.
Respond to those email newsletters. Those updates can sometimes be drudgery to write (just being honest here), so to get a response...ANY response...helps her to keep writing them. Send an email, text, social media message, Marco Polo, etc. She may not respond, but know that your effort to connect is so valuable and not taken for granted. Find out what food, magazines, or whatever miscellaneous product she can’t get in her new home and send her a care package. Yes, this requires a little extra effort, but you just have no idea what a blessing things like peanut butter M&Ms or Cheez-Its can be.