SPEAK UKRAINIAN WITH US

Do you ever have those days, or just those moments, when you miss the life you used to live?  The "you" you used to be? That time when?

Today I miss Ukraine.  Living there, the people, the language, the food.  I don't so much miss the "me" I was while I was there, not fully.  As I tell you more about my story, you’ll see I got pretty messed up while I was there, but there are some definite lights through all the darkness.  There is an aspect of my life in Ukraine that I desperately miss.

These things come in waves for me.  I am probably the healthiest spiritually, mentally, and emotionally I've been in a long time.  I mean, I have my moments, of course; those low times where I'm really feeling areas of my life that are lacking.  Otherwise, though, I’m good. If I look at the past year as a whole, though, it's good. Like high-fives-all-around good.  So this missing could just be as a result of me being sick, reflecting on where I am now and where I was....life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness and all that.  That’s what sickness does to you too, right? I digress.

I miss walking to the market down the street to buy fresh produce.  The babushkas lined up selling their latest harvest. Fruits, vegetables, flowers, seeds…praying to find a head of lettuce or celery as they are rare in Ukraine. I may or may not have cried the first time I found lettuce. Just saying.

I miss going to Puzata Hata (think Luby’s or Furr’s cafeteria dressed in traditional Ukrainian garb) to eat varenyky, not-so-fresh cabbage salad, and skillet potatoes.  I love Puzata Hata (literally translates to belly house). It’s inexpensive, mostly-delicious traditional Ukrainian fare. I would’ve gone every day if I felt no one would’ve judge me for it…but they would. It was just such a warm and comforting place. I felt safe there, like I could blend in a little and not get stared at for being the obvious foreigner.

I miss walking around the souvenir market and buying cheap jewelry and art. Rows and rows of tents display the traditional matryoshka dolls (nesting dolls), hand-painting pysanky (Ukrainian wooden Easter eggs), flower head wraths, and of course the Soviet fur winter caps. I always wanted to buy a traditional Ukrainian shirt or dress, but I never thought I could pull it off. Shoulda coulda woulda. Walking around among all the tourists helped me feel more like a local, like I finally was the one who knew what she was doing. People were asking ME for directions!

I miss how delicious McDonalds tasted...so so good. McDonalds is very different in Europe, well Eastern Europe. Over there Mickey D’s is considered a “nicer” place to go out to eat. You would see people on dates at McDonalds, suited up groups having business meetings (or mafia, who knows), teens dressed up for an events having their pre-party dinner. Y’all, in Ukraine they had these “village potatoes,” which were basically well-seasoned potato wedges but they were so good! In Poland, the McDonalds would have themed months. One month was “American”, another “China”, and another “Greece” offering such items as a McLavash or lamb burger. It sounds a little strange, but believe me it was some tasty treats.

I miss going to a cafe, ordering a simple cappuccino and pastry and just sitting...because that's what you do in Europe.  There are no to-go cups or customizations. You sit and read, journal, or chat with friends for hours. No one is clamoring for the wifi password to then sit around and stare at their phones. Every other day seemed like there was a holiday being celebrated, so practically everything shut down, which gave ample time to hang out and be with people.

I even, for some reason, miss struggling through the no-electricity or no-water days. They helped me be thankful and gave perspective. I was more thankful for the days I did have water and electricity, and it made me really appreciate the things I was privileged to have like internet, a washing machine, and bottled water that was delivered to me. Yes, no hot water for days was difficult, but being in lack helps serve as a reminder of thankfulness for abundance in other areas.

I miss the exhilaration and the utter privilege of the realization that I, Brittney Boatman, lived in Europe.  

Most of all, though, I miss going to Christ Fellowship church and seeing true, passionate worship.  I miss knowing the "American" worship songs in Ukrainian or Russian. I miss serving because you want to, because it's part of life, because "why wouldn't you"...not just because you should or are supposed to.  I miss my friend Tanya and Yulia who just want to hang out and be with me even if that means we do nothing. I miss being a part of something so small yet so big, so authentic, so powerful that I didn't even realize how big, authentic, and powerful it was until I left.  

I don't miss the programs, the events, or the plans.  I miss just living life and seeing what happens. I miss that kind of ministry...the kind that is real and impactful and changes lives forever.  Mine has been changed because of Tanya, Yulia, Igor, Elina, Sophia, Solomia, Dima, Max, Artyom, Nadia, Yulya, Mariana, Syava...and so many more. It's not because we did English camp together, which we did, or because we did youth group together, which we also did.  It's because we lived life together; we laughed, we cried, we ate, we talked, we listened, we were.

I miss Ukraine today.