TOUCH THE SKY

“Find me here, at your feet again.

Everything I am

Reaching out, I surrender!

Come sweep me up in your love again,

And my soul will dance

On the wings of forever.

My heart, beating

My soul, breathing

I found my life

When I laid it down.

Upward falling

Spirit soaring

I touch the sky

When my knees hit the ground.”

“Touch the Sky” Hillsong United

This morning, feeling extra tired, I slugged about my new normal routine: wake up, brush teeth, put on layers, log in to the computer, make coffee, work. As I walked into the living room/kitchen area to make my first morning cup of coffee, sunlight flooded the space, and I was taken aback. It’s not usually this sunny at this time of the morning. I know this because now I work from home. Now I see the sun, or the darkness, in my living room/kitchen every morning, afternoon, evening, and night. But this morning...this morning I was struck by the power of the beams as they lit up what felt like my entire home, my entire being.

I need today to be different. I think I’m fine most of the time. Most of the time, I don’t mind the the separation, the solitude. I almost like it. I like working from home; I’m so productive and focused, getting a ton accomplished. I like that I've been forced to create a home office space that I’ve actually always wanted (it’s also serving as the Trust Falls and High Kicks headquarters): organized, bright, colorful, comfortable...me. I like time alone, I need it; it’s healthy. It helps quiet the performer side of me. I play my music as loud as I want and sing out loud as I do my daily reports. Around my house, I’ve done so many projects, which I’ve been wanting to do since I moved in! And in the first two weeks, I moved more, drank more water, and came to appreciate and love my home and neighborhood.

Today, though, I am tired. Today my desire for connection and interaction is outweighing my enjoyment of this new normal. I feel the solitude. I feel the monotony. I feel myself slipping. I know myself. I know my tendency toward slothfulness, neglect, and depression. Slowly I find I’m going to bed later, waking up later, sitting more, and caring less and less about my appearance. My house is disheveled, dishes piled up in the sink. I have the time to take care...but I’m slowly starting to not.

I felt the beams of light of the morning sun beckoning me to break the routine. So I chose a fun mug (a perk of working from home is that I’m actually using all these mugs I’ve collected!), poured my coffee, and stepped out onto my back porch. I just stood there. Holding my coffee, eyes closed, face up, I stood there, allowing the light to wash over me.

I stood silent for a moment, then I felt a tug at my heart and tears threatened to well up. I began to pray. I prayed over TFHK; that it be used for His glory and praise. I thanked Him for my story; for taking the broken pieces of me, making me whole again, and using it all to help heal others’ broken pieces.

I prayed over my family and friends; for their health and protection, and that they know God more through this time. I prayed over my coworkers, my town, my state, my country, my world; that we all go outside and see our Father during this time. That we repent for what needs repenting. That we rejoice for what needs rejoicing. That we forgive and ask forgiveness for what needs forgiving. That we hear what needs hearing from our God who, during a time when the world is more quiet than usual, is speaking loudly asking us to see and know His glory, mercy, and love.

Call it needing a dose of Vitamin D, or a beckoning of my Father for connection...probably both...but I needed it. I needed that connection. I think we all do right now.

When it was time, I went back inside, back to my computer to begin my work. But first, I set two alarms on my phone to get up, put on some clothes, fix my hair, and walk around...because I choose today to be better.