GREAT COFFEE
I sometimes find myself missing little things here and there about living in Europe. Today I’m missing the way coffee and tea are served and enjoyed. There is such delicate beauty in the way you are served a cappuccino, espresso, loose leaf, or french press. You don't go to a coffee chain (at least not where I lived) and get a grande, nonfat, soy anything in a paper cup surrounded by a cardboard ring. You go to a sweet little cafe, sit down, and order a simple no-fuss (or maybe a little fuss) beverage. An atmosphere of gathering and community has been curated, so you stay a while...maybe order another. Your order is brought to you in a simple yet dignified, breakable coffee cup (not big-gulp mug) on a saucer, and--depending on the order--it may be accompanied by a side of sparkling water and small, semi-sweet biscotti.
It makes you feel special, like you are worth the cup they have to wash, not just throw away. You're worth the presentation of it all. The coffee seems to taste better. If you want milk or cream, you actually have to order it, as there is no counter or trough where the half & half, 2%, skim, soy, vegan milk reside. It's not a rushed, get your caffeine-fix routine, but rather a special, slow-down and sit-down, enjoyable event. You sit at your table and slowly sip, enjoy, and really taste the beverage.
This is a time to rest and appreciate the simple, precious time alone or time with friends. In some cafes there is no wifi, or there is but it’s spotty so there’s no point. You don’t go to the cafe to get things done. You go to enjoy a moment in life. Phones are put away and conversations are had, books are read, words are written. It's lovely.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm happily a gold card member at the mecca of all coffee chains. I have a deep relationship with coffee. Coffee and I are best friends. Sometimes we are in a rush and just need the caffeine, and that drive-through with the sturdy to-go cup is just what what the doctor ordered. Sometimes we have to answer the text or ring, calling us away from that time of connecting with others. Sometimes we have to work on that paper or proposal or whatever. Life is busy and full, and we can’t always unplug, sit, sip, and savor.
We need those times, though; don’t we? We need to slow down and have those quiet, alone times. Or have those moments when we choose to stop and be truly present for those with whom we are connecting. We were made for relationship, for connection, both with our Father and with one another. We have been given a gift in this dark, delicious elixir of life that presents a perfect means for such connection. It’s hard to do this, though, when the blue light of a screen is impeding our view of the one sitting across the table. When our To-Do list is screaming to have the next item crossed off. When that next episode of Stranger Things must be watched!
How do I explain the difference between these two ways of living and enjoying life and relationships, debating one over the other? Maybe, though, more importantly, how can I make more room for the "enjoying coffee" life in my "needing coffee" existence?
I meet a couple times a month with a precious woman from my church. She is a spunky older lady with a story similar to mine, so we connected right away. We met at a women’s conference, where a main topic was about mentoring and having a person who can speak wisdom and guidance in your life. At the end of the conference I asked Dee Dee to be my person. We hugged and cried.
This mentoring thing is new to both of us, but we’re all in! When we meet we often have coffee (duh...well, she actually has tea because she doesn’t like coffee, *GASP!). Phones, computers, books, distractions are put away. There’s no searching for the wifi passcode. We order our drinks, sit in cozy chairs, and chat. Sometimes we go for walks, but either way we look each other in the eye and connect. I feel so important, cared for, and safe in her presence. She made herself available in the busy and mess of life, just to sit and share life with me.
With Dee Dee I’m available, and make effort to be. I want to be there for those whom I care deeply. I want them to know that they are important, cared for, and worth my time and attention. We were made for relationship, remember. I feel like I am my best self when I am truly present and engaged. It is life-giving.
I’m busy. We’re all so busy. I’m tired. We’re all so tired. But, in the end, I don’t think I’ll look back on my life and think, “man I sure wish I had watched more Netflix.” I want to look back and know with every fiber of my being that I was present. That I was available. That I was still, I sipped, and I savored.