PHOTOSHOOT!
Mouth open, awkward stance, finger guns a’blazin. This is me any time someone tries to take my picture. It’s a an automatic pose. I’m not even conscious of it any more. Seriously, odds are that in a series of 10 pictures of me, 9 of them will be me with my mouth and/or making some wacko expression. But, as The Greatest Showman taught us, this is me.
I did a podcast series last summer with a friend that required some “nice” pictures of me. In order to resolve this, we had ourselves a mini legit photoshoot. I say “legit” to mean we were photographed to yield high-quality, individual and group headshots for our profiles. Photographs of smiling faces, candidly laughing at one another, or serious, pensive expressions; these were the desired results. Let’s just say I’m bad at this. I don’t do “legit” photoshoots well. I am a photographer’s nightmare.
Scene:
Photographer: “Brittney, look over at that (some inanimate object), like you’ve just seen something and are wondering what it is.”
Me: Looking over and making my natural “what’s that?” face
Photographer: “No, just be natural. Like you’re casually looking over at something.”
Me: “I am!”
Photographer: “Oh, ok, umm... How about look over there and imagine you see (insert person’s name here).”
Me: Looking over and making my next natural “oh there’s XYZ person over there” expression
Photographer: “Ya, that’s worse. Let’s just get more shots of your friend for now.”
End Scene.
Back when I did youth camp ministry, I created a game called “Photoshoot!” At any moment, no matter what you were doing, if someone yelled “photoshoot!” you had to immediately pose and usually a photograph was taken. This was not a serious, America’s next top fill in the blank, type of game. We weren’t practicing for our future modeling careers. It was meant to be hilarious and ridiculous. We succeeded. At the end of the summer, I compiled collages with some of the photoshoot pictures taken, grouped by camp teams, and declared a winner of who had the best photoshoot. It was a blast! There was no requirement to take a “pretty” picture. The crazier and sillier the better! Flailing poses were encouraged. This is my kind of photoshoot. I rocked this game. Mouth open = check. Eyes wonky = check. Ridiculous pose with hands = check. Props = check. Body contorted unnaturally = check.
Surprisingly this is not what was required of me during our podcast photoshoot. I don’t know if it’s a confidence issue or what? Ya, sure, like every human in existence I have body-image issues, with troubles of not loving every inch of all God gave me. Maybe those issues subconsciously trigger me to take ridiculous pictures because I think all my insecurities will be amplified if I attempt a “pretty picture.” Maybe it’s a form of self-preservation, so people will just see my silly personality and look past the cellulite, double chin, or imperfect teeth.
Maybe it’s not that deep. Maybe I have a medical condition that causes my mouth to open, fingers to form guns, and awkward posture to strike whenever a camera is pointed in my direction. Maybe?! Ya’ll, this could be a thing!! Medical research people engage!
OR…maybe it’s none of those things, and I’m just bad at taking normal, “pretty” pictures. Eh. Who needs normal?! Not this chick! (*cue awkward stance, crooked smile, arms lifted, and thumbs pointed inward)
